Aquacise!

So I swim laps at a local gym after work most days of the week. I usually swim for about an hour and a half before calling it quits and heading home to the missus. Lately though, my Tuesdays and Thursdays have been rudely interrupted by that last bastion of exercise for the morbidly obese, the very old, and a people who are both those things. I'm talking, of course, about Aquacise. If you're unfamiliar with Aquacise or Water Aerobics, as they are often called, I've provided this video to better aquatint you with the "activity."

Let's watch!

As you can see, the class consists of all they types of people I described above and as an added bonus, a douche and a lecherous old man. The water aerobic activities mostly consist of jumping up and down in the water and using "weights" for added resistance. In theory, this is a great workout for them because its low resistance (broken hip lady) and the water help keeps them buoyant (so overweight that gravity is a nuisance and living on land has become dangerous). And while I don't doubt that this may be marginally helpful for certain people, almost all of the people taking the class are too far gone for this type of "exercise" (oh yeah, sarcastic quotes coming on strong) to help at all.

Now, my problem is that a class that does essentially nothing for these people interrupts my actual workout. Their bouncing creates waves in the pool and these a big people mind you. As such it makes it impossible to breathe properly without swallowing a gallon of water. Being big people, the Aquacisers take up a lot of space so I'm forced to swim around them. Seeing as how swimming is mainly done in straight lines, swimming around is an epic hassle. And to top it all off, they don't shower before the get in the pool. Take a look at the above video again. Notice anything about the color of the water? Yeah, old people can't control their bowels and fat people have food stuck in their fat folds.

See? Yeah. Gross.